I know I’ve discussed my abhorrence of online dating sites’ television commercials before, but I’m back to unload on you again. It’s not that I have anything against meeting people online – whatever works, works! – but I just hate the commercials with a passion. Recently, it’s been the one with the guy who says, with an air of disdain, that some of those other dating sites are like “an online bar.” To that I say PSHAW, buddy! You CAN find a nice person in a bar, SO THERE. Now take your snooty-self off my television, ass.
That’s not really the ad that’s bothering me the most, though. It’s the one where the girl gushes, “It was the BEST date I’d ever HAD!” While I’m certainly happy she had such an awesome date, I do wonder HOW it was the best date ever. I mean, where I come from, dates are dinner or a movie or coffee or drinks, right? Is there more than that? Okay, okay, maybe there’s more than that, but that’s not the point. The point is, Chris said, “Well, maybe she had a bunch of really terrible dates before, so this one being normal made it the best.” Which got me thinking…Let’s play the Worst Date Ever game! Here, I’ll go first.
I was in high school, maybe 16 or 17 years old. This guy and I went to, ahem, Carl’s Jr. (Famous Star with criss-cut fries and a Diet Coke, please!) and then saw Pleasantville (cue awkward Joan Allen bathtub scene, am I right?) When he dropped me off at home, he walked me to the door and said, “Of all the girls I’ve dated….PAUSE…PAUSE…PAUSE…You’re one of them,” and then proceeded to run to his car, leaving me on my front porch, absolutely stupefied.
Alright ladies, I dished the dirt, now it’s your turn! Bring on your worst dating stories ever!
Ha, what exactly was his point?!
I met my bf online, random find, gorgeous normal guy, who actually ended up knowing tons of people from my highschool. So going on a “date” to meet up with his friends, turned out to be a highschool reunion for me… but random, told you.
Worst date? Just one?
Well there was a time where this nice dude who could not keep his hands to himself, not one bit. And no amount of tell him no, was working. It was getting awkward and I just walked out. He really wanted to hold my hand, or put his arm around me. Lame.
OMG. I was on several dating sites so I have A LOT of horror stories and I even was on that one that looks down their nose at all the others, for about a hot second until I realized how jacked it was and got the heck out of dodge.
So worst date from a dating site is a three way between 1) guy who wanted me to meet his family after we had LUNCH 2) guy who called me drunk off his ass 3 times the night before our date and oh by the way, he’s a cop, who drove drunk and when we had our date we argued about politics the whole time but he wanted to date me again because I “challenged him” and 3) the guy who hugged me so many times while I waited for my car the other valet guys started to get concerned for me.
A guy from the next town asked me out & I figured it couldn’t hurt…Boy was I wrong!!!
I drove over to his house because we were supposed to take his car. I get there & he comes up with some lame excuse that his mom needed to borrow his car…he proceeded to climb into my car & promise that he’d fill up the tank. Fine & we were off…
We decided on a movie (standard) & all he did throughout the movie was TALK!!! & he didn’t talk about the movie, instead he asked about my dreams & aspirations..my life & career goals!!! When he wasn’t talking aimlessly, he thought it’d be cool to try & make-out with me.
Next we decided to go get a bite at an inexpensive Mexican restaurant/taquieria & got hella pissed when the bill came & it was for only $20!!!
During dinner he mentioned how it was his niece’s birthday & if it would be cool if we stopped at the Target down the road…I tripped out but went along because I could pick up a few items of my own. As I’m putting things in my basket so is he… When we get to the checkout he starts unloading his items along with mine. I put the divider & he seriously asked me “Awe..ur not gonna get that for me??” WTF!!! (I didn’t of course!)
As we arrive back at his house & his mom comes running out of the house crying hysterically…yelling that her brother died. I said I was really sorry for their loss & proceeded on my way back home. (sans the gas that was promised, but didn’t mind because it was a small price to pay to get away from him!)
The next morning he literally called 10 times & left like 7 voicemails all insisting I call him immediately. On the 11th call I picked up…he then had the nerve to say that he needed a favor…”You know how my uncle died…well he’s in Mexico & I wanted to know if I could borrow $450??” I just told him to never call me & hung up…
All I could think was FML….
One word: Hoboken.
nevermind my dirt… dish yours! what idiot did that! genius!
(ps – i don’t have any odd date stories… I only dated a llittle in college, and most had thier stuff together by then. )
Diana – That’s terrible! You win!
I told you!!! & there’s even more crazy details I spared for the sake of space saving. That was the short version.
But I’ll share another funny detail… When we were at Target he excused himself to the restroom…like 5 minutes later he texted me from the restroom that he had bubble guts & if I could go grab him a bottle of Pepto & meet him by the restroom. I literally ran to get that because I didn’t want him to be passing gas or worse in my car!!! & when we had left the store he had the nerve to ask me to buy him some nuggets at McDonalds because he was hungry again after tearing it up in Target….mind you, we had just eaten BEFORE Target!!!!
Funny stories ladies. I met my husband on line. Dated quite a few frogs (1st dates) before I met my prince.
Worst date was after an initial short meeting for iced tea I agreed to go on a date with this guy. Recently divorced. Selling his house in San Diego and living with his parents in Bako until the sale is final due to local work. Ok.
He rode his bike to the first meeting which didn’t seem terribly odd since he lived close by and it was a really nice afternoon. Hmmm keeps in shape. The only bothersome thing was he had his top button on his shirt buttoned. It annoyed me but only because I think a man throat is sexy.
Anyway, real date time comes and we meet at the same shopping center and go to dinner at the steak house and to a movie. It’s a nice enough evening and I’m thinking maybe we’ll hit the coffee house after and have coffee and/or dessert and talk a bit. After all it’s only 8:30. As we are walking out of the movie house he say’s “So I guess you’ll be wanting to get home now.” I was kind of surprised but said, “Um, yeah. I guess I should head home” (30 minute drive tops).
So I”m thinking he isn’t in to me. Whatever. I head home. He calls for another date later in the week and something happened and we cancelled it. I called my girlfriend and we decided to go get our Belly buttons pierced. That would make everything ok right? I see him on line when I get home later and mention to him what I did. He proceeds to tell me that he has a peircing as well. Then proceeds to send me a stock photo of what is peirced. I immediatley lost the TINY bit of interest that had been there when I saw the photo. Really? Do girls really find that sexy? Needless to say I stopped seeing him after that!
Technically it wasn’t all one date but the whole thing with him was weird.
Oh and my online dating site was Love@AOL when it was free. I think Match bought them out.
Sarah, of all the blogs I read…you are one of them. BAHAHAH
I once had a guy try to get all romantical over the phone and tell me how much I meant to him and he said that when he hears that Usher song that goes, “You make me want to leave the one I’m with to start a new relationship with you” and then he tells me he just started dating someone else….WHAT?!
Going undercover for this one, ladies. The offender reads my blog … so there will be no linking going on, understood?
I met my husband through his friend, we’ll call him Pete. I stumbled upon Pete’s profile on MySpace (ohh boy… now it’s getting real) and thought he was quite handsome. We had a lot of musical interests in common and after exchanging a few e-mails, he asked if I’d like to go to an exhibition with him at a local museum. When we met, there were no immediate sparks but he was nice enough. A decent guy for sure. But then he brought out his handkerchief. He proceeded to honk his horn into his handkerchief several times throughout the exhibition. Dead sexy. We decided to go to a cafe afterwords and for some reason… despite the hot heat of the summer… we both ordered hot drinks. He begins sweating and *shudder* wipes the sweat from his face with his snot rag. Definitely no “good night” kiss happening here, folks.
I was very honest with Pete about the fact that there was no chemistry there, but thought we should keep in touch. I had just moved back to my hometown after college graduation and was eager to make friends. We did end up hanging out quite a few times strictly as friends and he eventually introduced me to his best friend… who is now my husband.
Talk about turning lemons into lemonade!