Holiday Movie Preview Review

The holidays are great for movies, aren’t they? Not that I ever really go to the movies, mind you, but great ones do seem to surface right around the end of the year. [Example: You’ve Got Mail is on TV right now and I just looked up its original release date. Any guesses? December 18, 1998. Mm-hm, told ya.] Anyway, since I hardly ever make it to the actual movie theatre, I thought I’d do a little preview review here. A Preview Review?, you ask. Why yes, this is me reviewing the movies I’ve seen the 30-second previews on TV for. [There is a strong chance I won’t see any of these movies until they come out on DVD. Or, to be honest, until they make it to HBO, ShoTime, et. al.]

The Twilight Saga: New Moon. Oh, New Moon. You all remember mine and Chris’s obsession with the Twilight books, don’t you? That was a fun two weeks, let me tell you what. The first movie, I think we can all agree, was meh. Yes, I said it. Meh. Cinematography? Gorgeous (thanks in large part to it being filmed in the Northwest.) Music? Also great (who else played that Paramore song over and over again?) But the acting was TERRIBLE. Just awful. Which brings me to New Moon. Robert Pattinson: Check. Kristen Stewart: Check. Bad acting: Check and check. [There’s actually a good chance we’ll go see this movie, but I’m definitely not expecting much.]

2012. This is the type of movie that Chris sees a preview for and says, “We have to go see that!” And then I sort of ignore the topic of “going to the movies” for awhile, in hopes that the next time we discuss it, movies like this one will be long gone from the theatre. This isn’t hard to do, by the way. As I mentioned before, we don’t really do the movie thing often. In fact, the last movie we saw on the big screen was Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and I think I fell asleep during part of it. A hot date, I am.

Actually, this movie does look pretty good. Plus, it has John Cusack in it, so it’s got to be good, right? Whether we’ll go to the theatre for this movie remains to be seen. Will Chris read this post and be reminded that he wants to see this movie or not?

Avatar. Okay, I’m going to be completely honest here and tell you that I actually have no idea what this movie is about, but I do not want to see it. Unfortunately, this one falls into the 2012 category in that Chris is probably dying to see it (are we seeing a pattern here?) I know, I know, it’s a James Cameron movie, blah blah blah. I don’t care. This is the type of movie I not only will not understand, but is entirely too long for me to sit through at the movie theatre. 150 minutes! That’s two-and-a-half hours, James! Too long, buddy, too long.

Sidenote: I hate that I just had to add the word “theatre” to Firefox’s dictionary. Kim, I know you’re with me on this one.

Brothers. Oh. My. God. Who else is totally freaked out by Tobey Maguire in the previews for this movie? Wow. Thirty seconds and you can tell he’ll be great in this movie. I would definitely like to see Brothers, but probably won’t, as it’ll be beat out by one of the above movies (just not Avatar.)

Nine. I don’t think I’ve actually seen a preview on TV for this movie, but I am dying to see it. Why? Because it’s a musical and I love musicals. Like, in an unhealthy way, really. I can’t tell you how many times I perform numbers from Chicago or Mamma Mia! or Hairspray.

Anyway, I am excited for this movie/musical in a bad way. The cast! The costumes! The hair and makeup! The choreographed numbers! Musicals are the way to my heart. Unfortunately, I doubt this movie will make it to our one-movie-theatre-town, but if it does? Oh, watch out!

Invictus. What is an invictus? Is it even a noun? Maybe it’s an adjective. Who knows! This is the type of movie I want to want to see, but I just can’t bring myself to actually want to see it. I mean, Morgan Freeman and Matt Damon and Clint Eastwood, I get it. But…yeah… See ya on DVD, Invictus! If you’re lucky…

I’m sure there are a ton of other great films coming out this holiday season, but I haven’t seen the previews for them yet. What am I missing? What do I HAVE TO see? What should I miss? I probably won’t go see any of them, but I’d like to know…