Who knew a trip to the drugstore could be so exciting!

Earlier today I Twittered about needing to leave the house to go out and buy hair goo, “smelly stuff,” and Bisquick (a random combination, yes, but all items we needed, nonetheless.)

The “smelly stuff” is in quotes, you see, because this was what Chris responded, via text, when I inquired what he needed from the drugstore…Other than the hair goo, of course, which I knew to buy based on the empty container he left on the bathroom counter. [This is how Chris lets me know that something in his hygiene arsenal needs replacing. You see, Chris wakes up and leaves the house at an ungodly hour and I, being a member of the human race, will not step foot out of bed until the clock reads 6 AM AT THE VERY EARLIEST. Chris knows this about me, having been met with many glares and HURUMPHs and hairy-dog-eyes in the past, and so he usually just takes off without a word. Not without a kiss, though! He gets met with an array of OTHER unpleasant behaviors if he forgets to kiss me good-bye. Why yes, I am a CHARM to live with. Anyway, when something needs replacing, Chris leaves the empty vessel on the bathroom counter and then that day, or you know, sometime in the next week, I rush out and buy him whatever he needs.]

So Chris told me that he needed “smelly stuff,” which I Twittered for all the world to read, and then I thought about it and realized that “smelly stuff,” though I knew it to be men’s body spray, could be anything.

An(other) aside: What is it about dudes and their aversion to saying the words “body spray”? Or is this just my dude? In the almost three years I have known Chris, I have never, ever heard him utter the words “body spray.” It’s almost always “smelly stuff” or the less popular “AXE spray stuff,” but never “body spray.” What up with that, Chris? Is there some sort of connotation with saying “body spray”? Let’s discuss this. We’re in a safe space here.

ANYWAY, I pondered this “smelly stuff” and thought, Hmm, what can I buy Chris that would, LITERALLY, be smelly stuff? [I wasn’t going to actually buy him smelly stuff, mind you, I was just going to suggest on Twitter that I might. That’s totally normal, right? Right?] I thought about it, but couldn’t come up with anything smelly that could be purchased, so I did what NONE OF YOU should ever do, under any circumstances EVER: I Googled “smelly stuff.” And OMFG, that is all there is to say about that. Well, that, and PUT DOWN THE COMPUTER, PICK UP THE PHONE, AND CALL YOUR GYNECOLOGIST. I can’t say it enough, DO NOT GOOGLE “SMELLY STUFF.”

Whew.

In case you were wondering, I did get Chris’s body spray, err, smelly stuff, as well as his hair goo, although not without pondering whether his hair was in a “whatever” mood or a “refined” mood. Behold:

I went back and forth with this one, but in the end, I think I made the right decision. I HOPE.
While we’re on the subject of, umm, the drugstore, I guess, check out this ENORMOUS aisle at the drugstore. It took everything in my power to not go cartwheeling down this giant stretch of space. Maybe if I’d been in more of a “whatever” mood?