What’s the OPPOSITE of tooting one’s own horn?

All aboard Sarah’s Self-Deprecating Train! It’s first come, first served here at the Failure Express, so jump on, grab a seat, and enjoy the ride, will ya?

First stop: Vlog-tarded. After my faithful Internet peeps encouraged me to vlog (vlog vlog vlog!) our Christmas decorations, I got all ready and set up to do it, only realizing after I set my camera to Video Mode that it only records for 25 seconds at one time. One might check that before one commits to doing a vlog, might one? Oh, but not this one! Embarrassing and shoddy video blog FAIL. [Hmm, maybe not such a fail after all, when I think about it…]

The next stop on the Sarah Sucks Line: I apparently cannot work our heating/air-conditioning. It shouldn’t be that difficult, right? I mean, I know I’m a little slow when it comes to anything electronic, but it’s a HEATER/AIR-CONDITIONER, for god’s sake! Those things have been around for decades, right? Well, I am rather inept at even the simplest forms of electronics, it would seem, as the only way I could figure out how to stop the heater was to remove the batteries. Maintaining a reasonable household temperature FAIL.

Arriving at our final destination, Platform Why I Am A Useless Human Being (For Today, At Least): In an attempt to redeem myself for the vlog mishap, I thought I’d take some pictures of our holiday decorations and just post them here* (sort of like exactly like what I did last year; apparently I also suck for never having any new ideas.) My plan was thwarted, however, when I picked up my camera this morning and in true Sarah fashion, THREW IT ACROSS THE ROOM. Because I’d been massaging butter onto my hands? No. Lotion? Nope. Body oil?! Negative. I threw that mo-fo because I am just that accident-prone. So simple a baby could use it point-and-shoot camera FAIL.

Alright, that brings us to the end of our journey! I hope your day is made better knowing that there’s always someone more awkward than you are!

*If you still want to see some of our holiday decor, you can check out the Flickr set here. (I did manage to finagle the camera in such a way that I could take a few pictures. The camera, however, is still broken.)

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