They say you lose brain cells and get kind of stupid when you’re pregnant (my mom appropriately calls it pregnesia.) I don’t know if it’s a real thing (am I REALLY passing my brain cells to my child?) or if it’s just because pregnant women turn into giant (no pun intended, okay maybe a little bit intended) navel gazers, but it does happen. What’s worse, it apparently doesn’t go away. See: Exhibits One and Two.
Exhibit One (Pregnesia): My parents bought Chris a very nice Seattle Seahawks sweatshirt for Christmas, but since it was a little short in the sleeves, my mom said to send it back directly to the Seahawks pro shop and ask for it to be exchanged for a bigger size. I packaged everything up and put the box in my car and mailed it off.
Or so I thought.
Months later, Chris was loading the trunk of my car with luggage and he said, “Oh! Is this my replacement sweatshirt?” and I was like, “What sweat—SHIT.” I thought I’d mailed it – I REMEMBERED that I’d mailed it – and even told Chris as much when he asked me about it a month before…”Oh yes, I mailed that a month ago!” Uhh, no, no you didn’t.
See? Pregnesia.
Exhibit Two (Once You Have A Baby You Still Lose Your Mind-esia): On May 17th, after LG’s one month doctor’s appointment, I made her two month appointment for June 20th. This should be easy to remember, I thought, as her birthday is April 20th.
Then about two weeks ago, I received a call from the doctor’s office, saying they needed to reschedule. Finally, last Friday, I stopped avoiding the phone and decided to return the doctor’s call and reschedule the appointment. After all, the appointment was for this Monday.
OR SO I THOUGHT.
I rescheduled the appointment for Tuesday the 21st and then went about the remainder of my weekend. We were out and about a lot and I told people on numerous occasions that LG was almost 2 months old…”Eight weeks on Wednesday!”…”They grow up so fast!”…”SHE’S a girl.” (Ahem, sorry, I’m just annoyed at having to always tell people she’s a she. I know she looks like her father, but she looks like a GIRL version of him, thankyouverymuch, assholes.)
ANYWAY. All weekend, I thought she had an appointment for Tuesday the 21st, and even though we did several things over the weekend where I needed to know the dates, I STILL didn’t put it together that the 21st was NOT this Tuesday. And I STILL didn’t put it together that LG was almost seven weeks old, not eight.
Then early yesterday morning, I checked the calendar to make sure I had the time right for LG’s appointment and that’s when I realized it was next week. And then I wondered if Chris knew she was only seven weeks old and had he been letting me go around telling people the wrong information all weekend? So I texted him, “LG’s appointment is next Tuesday. And she’s only 7 weeks old. Oops.” to which he responded, “That’s funny! I could have sworn she was 8 weeks also. Seems like she’s been around for years!”
See? Once You Have A Baby You Still Lose Your Mind-esia.
At least they’re cute, is all I have to say.
I wish I could tell you it got better! But my kids are 4 and 1 and I STILL feel as though I’ve lost my mind. I can’t keep anything straight and god forbid I remember where I put my freaking keys. I always ask my husband, “Do you remember when I used to be smart, you know, before we had kids?”
Maybe it should just be more comprehensively called Mommynesia.
Hahahaha, I love your “new mom” posts! They’re so funny and LG is such a ham. Can’t wait to meet her!
HA!!! Right there with you. I recently had this conversation with my doctor:
“Hi. I think my 6 week postpartum appointment is today but I can’t for the life of me remember what time it is at”
“Um. it was Friday. You missed it.”
“I’m an asshole”
I’m so embarrassed to admit the things I forget these days. Luckily, both my bosses have recently had babies so they cut me some slack as their wives were apparently the very same way.