When I was pregnant, a lot of people would tell me, “Don’t worry, your mothering instinct will kick right in!” which never made sense to me, as I never expressed any real concern over my mothering instinct or lack thereof.
Were these people just projecting their insecurities onto me? Did they take my constant “I’m terrified!”s to mean I was concerned about my mothering instinct? Were they concerned about my mothering instinct?
It may come as a surprise to you, but I haven’t ever been, and continue to not be, concerned about my mothering instinct. I am actually quite a good nurturer. I give good back scratches. I always make sure people are fed and watered (or wined.) I write the twice-monthly checks to our cleaning lady to ensure we don’t live in filth. See? Good nurturer.
I’m not particularly religious, but I do think God pairs you up with the perfect little mate, baby-wise. Someone for whom your motherly instinct (whatever that means for you) kicks in, even when you really have no idea what you’re doing.
For example, I had never changed a diaper before, but when LG has soiled herself YET AGAIN, I change her diaper, no problem. I had never (physically) fed a human before, but when LG is hungry, I toss her a boob or a bottle, again, no problem. If she’s crying, I swaddle her and if she continues to cry, I unswaddle her and if she still continues to cry, I swaddle her yet again. And if she still won’t shut her trap, I yell, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WAAAAAAANT and…She continues to cry. That’s just my mothering instinct and it seems to be working for me.
Okay, okay, what’s actually working for me is Chris, who is like the baby whisperer. If she’s crying and crying and crying and WILL NOT SHUT HER TRAP, I can hand her off to Chris and, ahh, instant silence. Chris is the far preferable parent and I can’t say I blame her. He is pretty damn awesome.
Unfortunately, after three (glorious!) weeks of Chris being off work, he goes back on Monday and to say I’m sad is an understatement. No more sleeping in until 8am. No more 20 minute showers. No more baby whisperer. Just me and LG, my perfect mate, trying to figure out what in the hell we’re doing. But I have my mothering instinct, which I’m sure will carry me through. I know it will. I think it will. I hope it will. I know it will.
I love this.
Mike had 3 weeks off as well and holy shit did I cry the day he went back to work. You can do it, though. You know you can. Also, you’re not the only one who screams wtf do you want- sadly, I don’t think we ever get an answer to that. Enjoy your weekend!
I love the idea of “your perfect little mate.” Enjoy the weekend (what IS it about the dads, they’re like baby Ambien!), and good luck next week! You’ll do great.
I say that alllllll the time. Mostly in my head, but sometimes out loud. Last night, Leo got a fuck off. Every hour, all night long, come on. He is 8 months, too old for that shit 🙂 After I told him to fuck off he slept for 3 consecutive hours. From 5am to 8am.
You two–make that three–are the cutest. I never had a doubt that your mothering instinct was “missing” and would magically kick in the day LG showed up. It’s been there all along, after all.
I am a fan of this post, you keep doing whatever works for you girlllll 🙂 Good luck next week!!!
Oh, my, I LOVE that photo. I’m burnt out on the instamatic thing but that one really works.
Not to worry, you’ll find your rhythm.
GURL, I am convinced you can figure it all out, with or without a baby whisperer there. GOOD LUCK!
You said this perfectly – I think that we do get the “perfect” baby for us, and you’ll be fine. Even if there is the random WTF scream thrown in, because honestly – 3 years in and I STILL want to do that sometimes. Except now I can’t, because she’ll repeat it.