The Rules of Fashion Etiquette According to Sarah*

There’s a fashion rule, similar to the No White After Labor Day rule, that says you can’t wear navy blue and brown together. Do you know of this rule?

I feel like people in my generation don’t know of this rule and in fact, think it’s the OPPOSITE – that you MUST wear navy blue with brown, not black. This annoys me to no end.

(Although, now that I think about it, maybe my generation actually knows this rule; perhaps they’re just bucking the trend. As a trend-bucker myself (unpasteurized cheese? raw fish? turkey cold cuts? WINE?! while pregnant) I appreciate their gumption, however, some rules were not meant to be broken. The No Navy Blue and Brown rule is one of them.)

I don’t know why this bothers me so much. I really shouldn’t care, and yet, here we are.

While we’re on the subject of fashion rules, I have a few new ones I made up recently and (because I’m a crotchety old lady who gets her kicks telling these young whippersnappers what is and what is not acceptable to wear (in the professional world)) here they are:

No Uggs.

– No Bare Legs. You should always wear tights (or leggings, or panty hose, if you’re feeling especially old and crotchety) in the winter. I see so many ladies running around the halls all bare-legged and I want to shake them and say, “You look unprofessional! And you’ll catch a cold! And shoot your eye out!”

– No Mini Skirts. You wouldn’t think I’d have to make this a rule, but I see lots of mini-skirts being worn from 9am-5pm. I personally employ the junior-high Your Skirt Can’t Be Shorter Than Your Finger Tips rule and even then, I don’t wear anything that goes just to my finger tips, preferring a little more coverage.

(Except recently, as I’ve been living in sweater dresses that are becoming increasingly shorter as my belly grows, thus pushing the sweater dress up and out, but whatever, I always wear leggings and boots and a long-sleeved t-shirt and the only skin visible is that on my hands and face, so I think I’m safe and even if I’m not, I AM, because fuck it, I’m carting around a fetus and hey, you try driving in platforms.)

– Pick (Only) One Fun Thing. I’m all for fun shoes and fun colored tights and fun patterned shirts and fun jewelry, but I think the fun needs to be limited, lest you look: A) Totally crazy, B) Totally juvenile, C) Like the (crazy) lady I saw recently, who was wearing almost head-to-toe leopard print AND thick gold chain jewelry, or D) Like the (juvenile) girl I saw recently who was wearing 4-inch snakeskin stilettos AND a short skirt with a too-high slit (and bare legs, natch.)

One fun thing, ladies. One fun thing.

So there you have it, the Rules Of Fashion Etiquette According To Sarah (*who’s currently sitting on her couch bra-less and wearing leggings as pants.)

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14 Responses to The Rules of Fashion Etiquette According to Sarah*

  1. Raven says:

    I totally disagree on the navy and brown, so I guess that makes me a bucker 🙂

  2. Kerri Anne says:

    Can my one fun thing be an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle?

  3. LizScott says:

    Holy shit, you’ve got to be kidding me – I’ve gone almost 30 years thinking Navy & Black: No Way; Navy &Brown: Like peanut butter and chocolate.

    Hmmm.

  4. Rhi says:

    Well thanks for totally ruining my outfit for today, Sarah.

    Also, several of these rules are broken every day in my office and I want to hand out citations.

  5. Sarah says:

    Only if it has a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time 🙂

  6. Sarah says:

    This is why I love you, you bucker, you! Plus, you always look good! I have never noticed any egregious brown and navy combos.

  7. Tess says:

    I am pretty sure that long-standing tradition has it that it’s totally apropos to wear navy and brown together. So I’m curious, where are you getting your fashion ettiquette rules? I must have gotten a different batch of rules handed out by my family…

  8. Tess says:

    I should add, the ettiquette I was taught was that your shoes should always be at least as dark as your pants/skirt/dress, so when I say brown I mean like espresso not mahogany/tan.

    That said, I totally wear black OR brown with navy and don’t really think twice about it.

  9. Mariko says:

    Ohmygoodness, THANK YOU for making this list. I want to print it out and post it in the staff lounge as a fashion manifesto!!!

  10. Sarah says:

    My family hasn’t ever said anything about navy & brown…I read it in a fashion mag (though I can’t remember which one) years and years and years ago.

  11. I love navy & brown together! And black & brown … and blue & black! I don’t really believe in any color rules (except don’t wear white as a guest to a wedding. And you probably shouldn’t wear red either). I totally agree with your uggs rule though! And yeah, bare legs in the office in winter is pretty ridiculous.

  12. Kori says:

    I definitely don’t abide by color rules. My creativity cannot be contained by traditional boundaries.

    I am guilty of wearing Uggs in my non-professional life, mostly because all winter boots are straight up hideous and at least Uggs are quite warm. Sigh.

  13. Christina says:

    I cannot wear navy and black, I just can’t do it. I think brown is okay but when I wear navy its usually my neutral and I wear a color with it (red,yellow, orange)
    I agree with Ugs and bare legs at work and the skirts.

  14. I just don’t wear navy in general, in fact I have issues discerning it from black a lot of the time.

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