I think I'm more tired now than I was when LG was first born MORE THAN AN ENTIRE YEAR AGO (weep), but I guess I'm no longer running on adrenaline fumes and instead I'm just, I don't know, living life, I guess? And life's tiring?

(How deep of me.)

I was in Bakersfield last week, hanging out for an all-too-brief visit with my mom and dad (he's doing much better than when I last briefly wrote about him, by the way -- gallbladder is out, but there's still more work to be done and he could use your continued thoughts, if you have some to spare.)

I was telling my mom how I'm just sort of cranky and rage-filled recently and I was like, You know, life's good and I'm happy, but when I think about all these things that are going on and that I'm dealing with [either directly or otherwise], I realize that holy shit, life is stressful right now.

It's really no wonder I'm a ball of cranky rage! We can't all be delightful and charming all the time!

(Not that I'm ever really delightful, although I do pride myself on my unbelievable charm.)

Anyway, so that's what's going on here.

(Wow, what an update! I told you -- that charm and all.)

Happy birthday to yous

Happy birthday dear Dad and LG(eeeeeeee)

Happy birthday to yous.

Some of you know my dad's been in the hospital for the past week. He's doing much better, but your continued thoughts/prayers/juju/deals with the devil/etc. are appreciated. We hope he's back to 110% soon. Well, LG just hopes for MORE CAKE, but whatever.

The worst part is that once in her crib, she chats and laughs and babbles and it's then Chris and I realize she just...Doesn't want to hang out with us.

"Why doesn't she like us?" I wonder.

"We're nice people! I mean, not really, but we're nice to HER."

I'm sure there are just all sorts of developmentals going on right about now, as we hit the one-year mark (IN LESS THAN TEN DAYS) (HOLD ME), so I'll try not too take it too personally, but it's hard to be away all day and then come home to a baby who'd rather chill with her paper mobile than, you know, THE WOMAN WHO GAVE HER LIFE.

SIGH.

Anyway, she recently started crawling. She had mastered the sit 'n scoot awhile ago, but it wasn't until I brought her to work with me, where we have wall-to-wall carpet (as opposed to home, which is primarily wood laminate and tile) that she actually booked it, one-knee-in-front-of-the-other style.

Lock up your sons (or daughters, not that there's anything wrong with that), heeeeeeere I come!

She's also started to clap, which you can see in the below video, as well as wave. She waves to herself -- I'm guessing is because that's what she sees when we wave at her -- and  it's basically the cutest and she can keep doing that forever.

I'm not adept at video embeddiment, so if that doesn't work, click here.

The start of Passover was this weekend and she thoroughly enjoyed her first matzoh ball:

No, really, she gobbled that shit up.

And then Sunday was her second Easter (she was four days old last year!) and she had cat!

That's Tab, the cat who adopted us. He/she makes me NERVOUS when he/she's around my BABY, but he/she doesn't really like LG very much, so he/she never sticks around for long. He/she is either a he or a she, we're not too sure/don't care/just scare off all the birds that try to eat my tomatoes and we'll be cool, Tab.

We'll be putting the finishing touches on the kitchen this weekend (I say "finishing touches" because we're going to be finishing the kitchen, but make no mistake, this will be the largest chunk we've done yet, oh yay) and also sometime planting the garden (WHEN?! There's no time!) and then LG's birthday party is next weekend.

H-O-L-Y.

M-O-L-Y.

Last Friday afternoon found Chris and I both off work early, so we did what any person in their right mind without a child would do -- we went to a dive bar and then to Costco. We also pre-ordered LG's birthday cake on a whim from a local cakery.

The girl at the counter asked if we wanted anything written on the cake (a 4-inch "smash cake," which this girl knew was for a first birthday), to which I replied, "No, she can't read yet."

"Heh," said the girl.

Hey, sometimes, when you're totally rejected by your sweet baby, you have to take what you can get.

Fine, fine, I'll give it to you this ONE TIME, lady.

*I drafted this post at work. Naturally, when I got home, LG was as sweet as could be. It's like she knew she was breaking my balls.

Anyway! Passover! Here's what we're having:

- Matzoh ball soup with chicken

- Latkes (not kosher, but whatever, LATKESSSSSS)

As for Easter, while most people make ham and potatoes, I make Mexican food. We began doing the Mexican-food-on-Easter five years ago at a joint in San Diego and so it shall now be a tradition forevermore. Here's what I'm making:

- Tamales (I need to find a tamaleria because the one I was going to order from is closed)

- Refried beans (it should go without saying these will be homemade -- no can-opening here, not that there's anything wrong with that)

- Flank steak with a chimichurri sauce

- Homemade salsa and guacamole

I don't really do desserts, but I never did make matzoh roca for Hanukkah, so I might go that route. Or maybe I'll just have an extra latke or twelve. We'll see.

As for the drinks, earlier today, I randomly felt like I'd just eaten a mint leaf and it was then I had an epiphany: MOJITOS!

Unrelated-ish but not, here's a little preview of the kitchen redo. It's AAAAALL HAPPENING.

Only a billion more cabinets to go

"Why do you always want to WORK, man?"

"You're the one who wanted to redo the kitchen. I just do what you ask."

"Dammit."

Then out of nowhere, I realized it was the anniversary of the day Chris and I met all those those few years ago.

"Hey! We met five years ago today!"

"Today today?"

"Yeah! I'd say it worked out!"

I was glad I realized the date before it passed us by -- it shed a whole new light on an otherwise tedious day.

Tedious days may come and go, but going on a child-less dinner date is forever. Forever as long as the grandparents are here to watch her, that is...

So! Onto the final results!

The quicker route(s)...

...The answer to which you've all been waiting for for weeks...

...How have you managed to go on living your life without knowing?...

...Is...

...Door #1!

The door I've been using for two years! (Can we all just breathe a giant sigh of relief that I've been using the most efficient route this whole time? WHEW. Life can continue to go on.)

Final times:

Door #1 AM: 04:41.3
Door #1 PM: 03:59.8

Door #2 AM: 04:47.3
Door #2 PM: 04:08.6

So that was fun. Or something. In any event, now I know. And knowing is half the battle.

• It's been nice weather all week and yet of course this weekend, it's going to rain. It's going to rain and we have more (basically, THE ENTIRE) kitchen redo to work on. I'd rather be dining al fresco on my back patio or trying out a new tapas place in a town next door. Alas.

• Here's a picture of the island, all finished up! We did this sort of preliminarily, to make sure we liked the white paint/brushed nickel hardware look. We do!

• I went for a run on my lunch break today. Forever ago, if you'll recall, I lamented the fact that I had no time ("There's never any TIME!") to workout, unless I wanted to get up early or workout in the evenings, instead of hang out with LG.

Then my mom suggested I workout on my lunch break. Duh! Moms are so smart. Well, of course, work got busy and I never did workout on my lunch break. Until today.

I ran around the park three times, which was three miles, and when I came back, well, I did NOT want to put my jeggings back on, let me just say that.

But! I liked it and am going to try to workout once a week on my lunch break (in addition to whatever else I can manage during the week.)

Thanks, Mom!

• The unofficial results from my supah scientific experiment are in and it seems that using both Doors 1 and 2 to get to my office takes basically the same amount of time. Of course. I try to do hard-hitting sciency stuff and I get no definitive answer.

S'okay, though. I still have one more test to run, so I'll report back Monday with the OFFICIAL results.

• I have morning commute music and evening commute music. Morning is Adele, Corinne Bailey Rae, Jonatha Brooke, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Mumford & Sons, and Florence and the Machine.

Evening commute music is The Transplants or Rancid, still the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, maybe some Social D, the Chronic, Ke$ha, basically anything upbeat.

• One of Chris's brothers always used to call him on Fridays saying, "Work sucks weekend, woo-hoo!" so now on Fridays Chris and I exchange texts at 5pm saying, "It's a WSW! Woo!" We do also sometimes do it for other days of the week, eg.: "WSTaco Tuesday! Yeah!"

• I currently have an idea for a blog post wherein I present to you my favorite things, a la Ms. O, but then I realized some of my favorite things right now are khaki pants and shelf liner and holy shit. When did I become full-on Mom status? It's all downhill from here...

I also usually park further out because, in my experience, you don't have to deal with those pesky people as much if you're parked far away from them all. I once made the mistake of parking close to the grocery store and then almost got hit by a guy backing out who was not paying a damn bit of attention to the other car (me) also backing out (first, I should add.)

Anyway, this really isn't about parking or elevators or how I'm easily annoyed by the general American public. It's about how I am currently in the throes of a very scientific study to determine which entrance is the most time-efficient for me to use at work.

You see, I have an option for two entrances and for the past two years, have primarily been using one, but now I'm curious to see if all this time, the other entrance is actually more efficient. Have I been wasting precious seconds out of my day? I don't know. Let's discuss.

Door #1: The door I use

To get there: It's a straight walk from the crosswalk, then one right turn, and two flights of stairs.

Once inside: There's only one metal detector, but this (usually) isn't a problem, as it's a less-used entrance.

Final journey: The stairs are close to the metal detector and are closer to my office.

Door #2: The door I don't use. (Yet?)

To get there: It requires one extra crosswalk, but it's usually green or I can jaywalk. From the second crosswalk, it's a direct, slightly curvy, uphill route to the entrance (but no turns) and there are no stairs.

Once inside: There are two metal detectors to choose from, as this is the main entrance to the building.

Final journey: The stairs are also close to the metal detectors, but drop me off further from my office.

I walked to Door #2 this morning and it took me 04:47.3 minutes. Tomorrow I'll use Door #1 and time it and see which is more efficient, once and for all!

Then, in the name of science, I'll time myself exiting the building to see which route is more efficient. After all, leaving work is the most important thing, right?

Sarah's Rules of Success, I called the list...

...I will now make an aside in hopes that putting it out there might make me stop doing something that really bugs me.

Aside: "But I don't make a lot of money." I say this often, when I'm defending where I am career-wise, as if my lack of six-figures means I am a fraud. As if I'm not really a success.

But you know what? I have worked hard, on purpose, get where I am. I am proud of the work and forethought that getting here took. It wasn't an accident. I paid attention, made good, wise choices, and now, I am where I am. *pat on the back*

So, why do I devalue all that by mentioning that I don't make a lot of money? I don't know and it actually really pisses me off. I do not even care about making more money. Mo' money equals mo' problems and all that jive. Mo' money also equals mo' stress and, you know, I'm good there.

Anyway, this is something I need to stop doing. Pats on the back are all well and good, but if you're simultaneously kicking yourself in the ass, then what's the point?

Aside: Done.

This post is about my rules for success, so let's get back to that.

So, I started jotting these notes down and thought I'd share a few here:

1. Don't burn bridges; you never know where someone will end up.

2. Forgive, but never forget.

3. Always be willing to ask; the worst someone can say is no -- in which case, you're in the same place you started -- but, they might just say yes.

4. Don't show all your cards.

These are just a few of my favorites. I have more, which I'm admittedly leaving off because they come across as cold-hearted, and see also: #4 above.

What about you? What are some of your secrets to success?

To recap, here was the plan:

Monday's dinner of burgers was delicious, which should surprise no one, as Delicious is Burger's middle name. Hi, I'm Ham Delicious Burger, at your service!

Ahem.

Tuesday night's baked egg boats were a hit and made great breakfast leftovers the next day. I'll do these again, changing up the meat and cheese based on whatever I have on hand.

This meal was basically just a way to trick Chris into breakfast-for-dinner

The gnocchi was fab, as always, even though Jimaie pointed out in the comments that the recipe I linked to only received three stars. Psh! Hogwash! I have made it many times before and it's always good. Maybe those three star raters didn't add enough cheese. I always double the cheese.

Thursday's vegetable fried rice was some of the best we Chris has ever made. I find rice offensive for a variety of reasons -- it's bland! It falls off your fork or chopsticks too easily! It's all carbs! I never cook it right! -- but this was top notch. I even had the rest of it for lunch on Sunday.

As for the chicken that night, I got a wild hair to make foil-wrapped chicken, a recipe for which I couldn't find online. I ended up just wrapping some chicken thighs in foil with a little Veri Veri Teriyaki sauce and baked them at high heat. Good flavor, but they ended up basically steaming, rather than having that awesome sticky texture of Chinese restaurant foil-wrapped chicken. So! Back to the drawing board.

Friday's pizza was scrapped for dinner out at a Mexican restaurant. I was a little hesitant to bring LG, but she was in good company among a bunch of loud drunks in the restaurant bar. She just sort of hung out, but was unable to sleep among the people (her parents) doing shots next to her and by the time we got home at 8pm, she went right to bed and didn't get up till 9am on Saturday. We'll be going out to dinner every Friday night from now until whenever that doesn't work anymore.

In news unrelated to food, but related to where you make food, we started the beginnings of our kitchen remodel this weekend. Nothing too exciting, just painting the cabinets, adding hardware, and replacing/updating the lighting fixtures.

It's a long time coming for what started out as a very dark, very drab kitchen with a missing pantry door.

Excited to one day (soon!) be showing you the After pictures to this one's Before. But that guy won't be in the After shots.

While I am excited to have all our food contained and hidden behind four actual doors, I am a little worried about all that energy I'm sure to expend opening and closing all these doors to get to the rice.