I decided to brave another week with the RHONY recapping! I am watching and writing (and pausing) as I go, so I am going to tackle this recap scene-by-scene. I want to make sure the recapping is done while the show is fresh in my mind! Onward, to the Housewives…
Bethenny & SonJa
We begin with SonJa and Bethenny, who are meeting downtown, which as you know, is practically like driving to New Jersey when you live uptown. (Listen, I’ve been to NYC a time or two (two; I’ve been there twice) and I know traffic is terrible and riding the subway is beneath you (literally?) but seriously stop with this.) SonJa and Bethenny discuss business-y things like SonJa’s “international fashion/lifestyle brand,” including something about “perfume hair” and bankruptcy. Bethenny is wearing a very cute white blouse with an undone bow tie and I really dig it. I’ve been contemplating bringing back the lady necktie, so I may need to pull the trigger on this. The most important thing learned at this meeting is that SonJa will swallow for a black Amex card. NOTED.
Dorinda & Lu
Next up, Dorinda and Lu meet on the upper east side for a little pedi-pedi. Lu’s wearing a gigantic gold necklace that I must have immediately. Beth and Lu are are two-for-two on neckwear this episode. Dorinda and Lu rehash the two events that Dorinda was not invited to–Bethenny’s birthday party and Lu’s ladies’ night party, which Dorinda’s bf, John, showed up to and which Dorinda is upset about.
Carole & Kristen
These two meet up for “healthy” drinks and oysters and Carole mentions she’s seeing Luann’s “nice” chef, Adam. Kristen’s necklace in her confessional…I may possibly dig it.
Commercial break…
And we’re back!
These two squeeze some lemons and talk about Noel (Lu’s son) possibly telling Luann about Carole and Adam. Am I to understand that Noel knows about Carole and Adam, then? How would that happen? Are Adam and Noel in the same grade in school or what?
SonJa & Ramona
Ramona shows up at SonJa’s with a bottle of Ramona Pinot Grigio in tow. One of SonJa’s interns (I assume) lurks awkwardly in the background as SonJa invites Ramona to Atlantic City for Ramona’s birthday. There will be gambling! Cute boys! Dancing! And all of a sudden, I am seeing visions of the Sex And The City episode where they go to Atlantic City for Charlotte’s birthday, so let’s pretend cast this, shall we? Ramona = Charlotte. SonJa = Samantha. Dorinda = Miranda. Carole = Carrie.
Dorinda & her annoying daughter
Dorinda’s daughter gives her more shit for stupid stuff like books and nails, but then she starts talking about punctuation and okay, maybe she’s not so bad. Dorinda reveals she is throwing a party for the ladies and their gents, so that they can all meet her gent, and Dorinda’s daughter starts talking shit on Dorinda’s boyfriend. Dammit, I may be coming around to this girl after all. Dorinda compares Bethenny to an onion, so that’s fun.
Commercial break…
We’re not going to watch Kandi’s Ski Trip, are we?
And we’re back!
Kristen
You guys, Kristen started a blog. Can you feel the earth move by the sheer magnitude of my eye roll just now? I don’t even want to dignify this with more words. In a nutshell: She prances in the street while one of her interns takes a photo of her wearing Last Night’s Outfit (also her blog name) with an iPhone (“Maybe one day’ll we’ll get a real camera,” Kristen says. “I’m better with an iPhone,” an intern says.) Police officers and other pedestrians watch on and laugh at the spectacle. MOVING ON.
SonJa & Bethenny
SonJa and Bethenny meet up at SonJa Morgan HQ. I am surprised to see her “international brand” actually has a logo and some sketches, so that is fairly impressive conspiring we most recently only had a prototype toaster. SonJa’s CEO and VP can’t disclose what they’re doing or who they’re selling to, but trust that they are doing “a lot of things” and are “in talks.” The CEO and the VP proceed to school Bethenny on how business works. I actually cannot believe they are speaking to her the way they are. The whole exchange is ultimately a complete letdown for me, as Bethenny didn’t take every one of those insane people to task.
Dorinda
It’s the night of Dorinda’s party! Ramona is the first to arrive and feels under-dressed and sad to be attending the party solo. Lu shows up next and, then Kristen and her awful husband and his awful hat. SonJa brings a 24-year-old and Ramona gets mad that SonJa doesn’t say hello to her right away. That seems weird. Who cares? We see Heather’s husband before we see Heather and I am not sure about that guy. Sweetheart for sure! But there’s just…something.
Anyway, there’s some talk among Lu, Heather, and SonJa about SonJa’s “showroom” and I really don’t care. YAWN.
Oh good, Carole is here! Carole and Lu have a sit-down about Carole’s dating Adam, which turns out, Lu knows about because Adam used to date Lu’s niece and Adam called Lu’s niece today to tell her he was seeing Carole and then Lu’s niece called Lu and told her. Jesus Christ with all this. It all sounds like yapping dogs.
Heather finds Kristen and her awful husband with his awful hat and they rehash Bethenny’s birthday. There’s talk of “letting is go.” No one seems to be letting it go.
People feel-up Ramona and she does push-ups. Is this party over yet? There’s more yapping from the ladies and Lu gets annoyed at drunk SonJa, as if that is a new thing we’re seeing.
Commercial break…
And we’re back!
I normally don’t watch these stupid little 30-second snippets that are supposed to be lighthearted or whatever, but since I am recapping the show, I will do it. Kristen suggests Ramona take a page from SonJa’s book and date a younger man. Ramona says why bother when she has a hand.
Commercial break…
And we’re back!
There’s more yapping about SonJa not greeting Ramona immediately. They hug and make up. SonJa flirts with a group of gross men. Considering how Dorinda’s bf acts towards SonJa, maybe his is not gay after all. Ew, then he smacks Kristen’s ass/leg region. I am unimpressed. Looks like Bethenny wasn’t invited or couldn’t make it to this party; I am sure she’ll call many meetings to discuss this with the ladies.
And that’s it for tonight! Next week is Atlantic City and I cannot wait!