Chris and I recently potty trained LG in one (very tense) morning and I thought hey, maybe if you’re looking to potty train your child, perhaps you’d like to know the method we used. I got this method from my best friend, who got it from her husband, who got it from a colleague or coworker of his. I have no idea who the guy or gal is who came up with this, so I can’t give proper attribution, but hey person who sent this to my best friend’s husband: Thank you! If by some random chance you’re reading this, let me know and I’ll give credit where credit is due.
First, your attitude is the most important ingredient in this toilet-training recipe. A technique is useful to a point, but without the right attitude (and this applies to any disciplinary effort), no technique will produce lasting results. Approach toilet training with the same casual, matter-of-fact attitude with which you approached teaching your child to eat with a spoon. They are, after all, both self-help skills. Despite psychobabble to the contrary, neither is fraught with apocalyptic psychological ramifications. When spoon-training your child, you encouraged without being silly, conveyed a clear expectation and tolerated the temporary mess. If you can muster that same attitude with regard to potty training, you’re halfway there.
Second, put a potty or two in that area or those areas of the home where your toddler spends most of his time. Keep it in the bathroom and you inadvertently invoke the Out of Sight, Out of Mind Principle. If the layout of your house and your child’s range of movement require it, put out two potties. They should be simple, Spartan contraptions, not ones that do silly, superfluous things like play Barney songs when sat upon.
Third, set aside a week during which you can spend most of your time at home. Your ability to maintain a calm focus during this teaching time will help your toddler remember what you are expecting of him.
Fourth, if you’re working with a girl, she should spend her day naked from the waist down. Don’t even use diapers for naps. Dress a boy in nothing but the thinnest cotton underwear you can find. The point, in either case, is for the “mess” to travel unimpeded down the child’s legs, which they do not like. Just take a deep breath and clean it up.
Fifth, as soon as your child wakes up in the morning, take him or her to the potty. When he/she is seated, walk away, saying, “Call me when you’ve done something and I’ll clean you up.” Do not hover or otherwise act nervous. If your child refuses to sit, so be it. Make this into a power struggle and you’re done for.
Sixth, whether or not your child produces at the first sitting of the day, set a timer to ring every 60 minutes or so (different kids, different intervals). Call it the “potty bell.” When it rings, simply announce that it’s time to sit on the potty. Remember, don’t hang around acting like a high school girl waiting for her prom date.
Seventh, clean up messes without drama. Nonetheless, don’t tell your child that making a mess is okay. It’s not! When he/she has an accident, tell him, “Make sure you sit on the potty next time.” Be firm and resolute, but don’t be angry.
Eighth, respond to successes positively, but not overly enthusiastically. Do not, under any circumstances, give rewards or use them as enticements.
Last, when the process is complete, hire a carpet cleaner to erase the evidence. The typical cost of said removal is why I call this method “Naked and $75.”
And that is that! I am surprised/not at all that this worked. A few personal notes:
I think it is key, as the person says, to NOT say it’s okay when the kid has an accident. After the very tense morning mentioned above, I put LG down for a nap and she sacked out, then woke up a few hours later with an accident. (I am totally blaming this one on The Americans, by the way, because those shows were running like 11 minutes longer each and I was going to go upstairs and wake LG before an accident could happen, but I had to wait those damn 11 minutes, which, I feel I should mention, is not actually any additional TV-time, but just extra commercials.) Anyway, she looked so pitiful and I felt so bad for her I told her, “Oooh, it’s okay” and then Chris was like, “It’s not okay!” and I was like, “Dammit, no, it’s not okay!” But that was the only accident she’s had (minus a few in Hawaii that were really her parents’ fault (time change + “regular” child + I didn’t bring extra diapers = 3am cleanups = oops to the power of three.)
She’s not potty trained at night yet. See above re: 3am. I imagine that’ll come in a few more months. I don’t really care and actually, if night time potty training means I have to wake up with her every hour, then she can go ahead and stay in diapers until she’s 18.
Anyway, go LG! You can dump in toilets now. Welcome to adulthood.
[Edited to add: It was pointed out to me that “Naked and $75” comes from a parenting book by some cat, John Rosemond. I haven’t read the book, so I don’t know if the method is the same, but I assume it is. I am not going to link to the guy, though, because the article(s) I perused have him highly recommending you start potty training at 18-months and notes waiting until after 30-months “greatly increases the likelihood of problems.” What problems, I do not know, but this is a no assvice zone here. Potty train when you want to! This is simply a method that worked for us. Live long and potty, my friends.]
Flushing poop makes me ecstatic.