Today's post, though, is to recap our camping trip from this past weekend. In case you couldn't tell or didn't already know, I'm not one for camping. I like the outdoors fine, I just prefer a bed and a shower (and room service and valet) if I'm going on vacation. Well, as luck would have it, I married quite the lover of camping. Chris has been trying to get me to go for years, insisting that he camps the "right" way and that I would have a good time if I went.

Well, I trust the guy a little bit and once in awhile I like to make sure he's happy, so "Fine," I said. "I'll go camping!"

And. It really wasn't bad. Actually, it was kind of fun...

I drank champagne.

I read fashion magazines.

I took a nap.

We played cards...

We roasted marshmallows for s'mores.

Burnt the first batch.

And then, in the drunken dark, stepped on all of them, getting melted 'mallow all over our Uggs/jeans/leggings.

Oops.

We admired the scenery...

And then the next day, I took Chris on an 8 mile hike...

(Feather Falls - 6th tallest waterfall in the U.S.!)

Three point five days later, and we're still sore...

I may never go on a week-long camping trip, but for an overnighter, it was definitely a good time! (That statement brought to you by Barefoot Bubbly.)

So! Would you, my fine and fab readers, be interested in a Dear Sarah advice column? In my head, I like to think I am a wealth of knowledge about dating, friendships, marriage, work, fashion, and myriad other topics. In reality, I have no clue what I'm talking about - unless what I'm talking about is booze. Either way, I'm basically just searching for a way to give solicited advice, so let's make that happen!

So! (Again!) Advice column or no advice column? Or, or! Booze column? We can definitely do that instead.

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, _o_e  for tomorrow." - Albert Einstein

Hmm, love for tomorrow?, I thought.

No, no, I've already used L and V...

Zone for tomorrow?

No, that makes no sense.

Ah-ha! Joke for tomorrow! Of course!

"Learn from yesterday, live for today, joke for tomorrow." - Albert Einstein

Perfect! Done and done! Now, let me just Google that to make sure it's correct...

Oh.

Oops.

Turns out the actual quote is, "Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow."

Which, okay, makes more sense, but what can I say? I always go for the funny.

...Wake up. Go to work. Come home. Eat dinner. Go to sleep...

...Repeat. Repeat. Repeat...

...Until all of a sudden it's 2010 and I'm left wondering, What in the hell happened to the last few months/year?

I think every once in awhile it's a good idea to take a virtual inventory and remember all the cool things I've done, all the one-of-a-kind experiences I've had...

...If only to serve as a reminder that my life is NOT boring and that there are many more exciting things to come in the future...

...Because, god, if I top out at 27, then my life really IS boring.

So! In no particular chronological or significant order, here are some of the places I've stood:

- At the top of the Space Needle in Seattle

- On the ground of Sistine Chapel in Rome, neck craned upwards

- In the Rockefeller house in Washington, D.C. with El Presidente

- Afloat in the Dead Sea in Israel (basically everywhere and anywhere in Israel, actually)

- In front of my all time favorite piece of art - Picasso's Guernica - in Madrid (that second link has nothing to do with Guernica, but rather, is a story about cheese and barf. You've been forewarned.)

- 273 steps up to the top of the Arc de Triomphe in Paris

Where are some cool places you've stood?

Props to my homegirl Sensibly Sassy for posting the places she's stood, which compelled me to do the same.

More crappy iPhone pictures of my garden can be found here.

We finally have a big kid room, complete with a Cal King bed and matching bedroom furniture. There's also a (new! awesome!) paint-job, the idea for which got implanted into my brain by the evil geniuses at the DIY Network. Luckily, Chris was quite handy with the laser-level and I was surprisingly dexterous with the blue painting tape, so the paint-job - which looks like it could have resulted in much hair-pulling and expletive-shouting - went quite smoothly. I highly recommend stripes!

We also got all our entire upstairs and a portion of our downstairs flooring re-done. The fact that I now have laminate flooring, not carpet, on my stairs (!) thrills me to no end. If you had asked me 10 years ago what I was excited about, it might have been a day off school or a keg party that night for which I had an alcohol hook-up, meaning I would get to drink a bottle of Boone's instead of crappy keg beer. It would not have been laminate flooring. Alas, things change. (For the better, obviously. If I were still drinking Boone's Farm, I'd fully expect you all to come over and stage an intervention. A Bad "Wine" Intervention".)

And sadly, these are things that are thrilling me these days. Gardening! Home renovations! I am so exciting!

What about you? What's absolutely thrilling you this summer?

I am a robot.

Chris is a pirate.

What are you?

Well.

Okay.

Maybe one of my dear friends put it more accurately when she said, "Umm, Sarah, I just think you're really good at breaking people up."

And she has a point. Although my matchmaking has resulted in a successful marriage*, what I am more focused on is telling people when they're in a relationship with someone who's not a match. In fact, the first night I met the aforementioned dear friend, I told her I thought she needed to break up with her boyfriend.

If that seems harsh, it probably was, but my friend did ultimately break up with the dude and credits (and thanks!) me for it. So what if she thought I was a bitch when she first met me? We're friends now! AND she's no longer with her not-a-match boyfriend! It's a win-win. Clearly.

This tactic of telling people, "You need to breakup with that loser!" upon first meeting them doesn't always end in friendships, though. I have had people less than pleased with me for sticking my nosy nose into their business. But I can't help it! If I see a couple who's totally not a match, I feel it's in their best interest for me to tell them so**! They might think I'm a bitch, but in the end they'll thank me.

It's a lot of work being a matchmaker, let me tell you what.

*This is true. I set up an old co-worker of mine from high-school/college with a guy I knew in high-school. They even worked me into their wedding vows. You hear that, Patti? That's a 100% success rate right there!

**I'm not completely and totally socially inept. I hold my tongue in certain instances, mostly when I get the impression my "advice" could be misconstrued as, you know, rudeness.

So! As I said, my intention was to post a small sampling of some of the good advice my dad has given me, so here you go! (For those playing along, other Lessons Learned from Mom can be found here, here, and here.)

Always ask; the worst they can say is "no."
This can be applied to anything, but in my case, my dad told me this in high-school, when I was nervous about asking for a raise at the drugstore where I worked. (I was asking for a dollar raise, hah! A DOLLAR. Those were the days.) Anyway, I was fretting about it and my dad said, "Just ask your boss. The worst he can say is no, but he might just say yes." It's so obvious, isn't it? And yet, I feel that so many people are afraid to ask even the simplest of questions, when honestly, what's the worst they can say? Life's too short to wonder what might have been, so go ahead and ask! And hey, you might just get that raise! (Here's hoping it's more than a dollar.)

Relationships should be easy
People are always telling you "relationships are hard." I personally had always been a little - for lack of a better word - worried about marriage because of this blanket, "OMG relationships are hard!!!" statement. (I never worried about marrying Chris, mind you, just when I was younger, I worried about what was so hard about marriage in general. How hard are we talking here? Will I be able to hack it? Or, will it be too hard for me?) And then I remember me and Chris having drinks with my mom and dad and my dad saying to me (about my relationship with Chris), "It just looks easy. Relationships should be easy." And it's so true! For the most part, relationships should be easy. I like you, you like me, let's do this. Sure good relationships take work, but work does not have to equal difficulty.

It's better than a sharp stick in the eye (or a swift kick in the ass)
Okay, okay, so this isn't exactly advice, per say, but it was something my dad always said (still says) and man, isn't it the truth? I mean, unless you're being audited by the IRS or your cat died or you DID just get a swift kick in the ass...

Happy (way, way) belated Father's Day, Dad! You're the raddest!

What's the best advice your dad ever gave you?

1) What movie will you not turn off whenever it comes on?
This could be a loooooong list, but I'll try to break it down to the essentials: "Clueless," "The Family Man," "French Kiss," "The American President," "Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead," and "Ferris Bueller's Day Off."

2) How old were you when you got (or gave) your first kiss?
I believe I gave (hey-oh!), and I was 14; the magic happened immediately following our junior-high graduation dance.

(Now let's fast-forward 12 years...We're in Washington, D.C....In the office of a member of Congress...I see the dude...Who works for the congressman...Aaaaand I ignore him. Oooh! Burn!)

3) What movie star is your dream date?
I'm honestly not sure I'd like to date a movie star, but I'd totally - pardon my French - bone Denis Leary.

4) What food will you absolutely not eat under any circumstances (and why)?
Mayo. It's grody.

"How can you eat a sandwich with no mayo?" you might ask (they always ask.) "Isn't it so dry?"

No! I use mustard! Or oil and/or vinegar! Or both/all three!

"What about potato salad? How can you have potato salad without mayo?"

I use sour cream!

Trust me, I have no use for mayo.

5) How many hours of TV do you watch each week?
Not enough. Seriously, I think TV is where it's at and I only wish I had the time to watch more!

6) Do you get your five servings of fruits and vegetables every day?
Does wine count as fruit? What about champagne? Grapes, right? Grapes!

7) What is the first rule of Fight Club?
We Don't Take No SHIT From Anyone!
We Don't Take No Prisoners!
We Don't Take No For An Answer!
We Don't Talk About Fight Club.

8 ) Did you really like the Dennis Hopper (RIP, dude) movie "Blue Velvet?"
A) Dennis Hopper died? and B) What's "Blue Velvet"?

9) Do you read the last page of a book to see how it ends?
No! I'm not like Harry Burns from "When Harry Met Sally"!

*Adding "When Harry Met Sally" to the list of movies I'd never turn off*

10) What is Joey from "Friends" signature phrase? Bonus: What is the name of their coffee shop?
Sistah, puhleeze!

"How you doin'?" and Central Perk.

ANYWAY, I have a couple options for dresses; unfortunately, two out of the three options are black. Like White After Labor Day, I wonder...Is there a rule about Black In The Summer? I honestly don't know, so you tell me. (For those who care about stuff like this, I'm not too terribly worried about being hot, as the wedding is at six o'clock in the evening and the high for the day is only supposed to be 79 degrees.)  I also have a grey dress, which you will see below, but I haven't actually worn it, so who knows how it fits (judging from the picture, I'd say NOT WELL.)

Enough chatter, though, let's get on with the fashion show! Like Cher Horowitz in Clueless, I don't trust mirrors, so I always take Polaroids, or in this case, iPhone pictures. (Are iPhone pictures the new Polaroids? Sad.) As is the custom here, please chose from one of the three options and let me know what you think I should wear! Or, even better, tell me all three suck and that I need to go shopping! Or don't. I hate shopping.

Option Number One: Target dress with cute sequin detailing:

Option Number Two: Dress from who-knows-where, with cute scarf-halter-tie-thingy:

Option Number Three: Dress I haven't worn yet which I'm HOPING doesn't really make me look like a linebacker, as it obviously does here:

As for the shoes, I am pictured above wearing one of each of my options, but here's a close-up (the shoes on the left would probably work better for all of the above outfits, however, I threw the other pair in there because they're wedges. Ladies, I'll probably be doing some lawn-walking, so do I even need to 'splain to you why they're an option?):

Guess who loves her some strappy t-strap sandals! This girl!

So there you have it! Let me know your thoughts! And for fun (?), here are a few fashion show outtakes, courtesy of my Patrick Demarchelier-rivaling photographer: