Help me be Stylish: I probably can’t wear black to a hot summer wedding, huh? Edition

Chris's mom's cousin's son's wedding is this weekend and of course, I haven't a thing to wear.  My one not-too-casual-not-too-dressy summer dress has a little too much white in it, and I don't *do* white at weddings. (Do you do white at weddings? Are we past this yet? If I ever wore white shoes, I'd like to think I'm over the No White Shoes After Labor Day thing, but again, I don't wear white shoes, so maybe I'd think differently if I did. And now that I think about it, I do sort of judge people who wear white shoes after Labor Day. "Tsk, tsk, I think, "She shouldn't be wearing white shoes; it's September 10th!" Soooo, yeah, I don't think we're past this.)

ANYWAY, I have a couple options for dresses; unfortunately, two out of the three options are black. Like White After Labor Day, I wonder...Is there a rule about Black In The Summer? I honestly don't know, so you tell me. (For those who care about stuff like this, I'm not too terribly worried about being hot, as the wedding is at six o'clock in the evening and the high for the day is only supposed to be 79 degrees.)  I also have a grey dress, which you will see below, but I haven't actually worn it, so who knows how it fits (judging from the picture, I'd say NOT WELL.)

Enough chatter, though, let's get on with the fashion show! Like Cher Horowitz in Clueless, I don't trust mirrors, so I always take Polaroids, or in this case, iPhone pictures. (Are iPhone pictures the new Polaroids? Sad.) As is the custom here, please chose from one of the three options and let me know what you think I should wear! Or, even better, tell me all three suck and that I need to go shopping! Or don't. I hate shopping.

Option Number One: Target dress with cute sequin detailing:

Option Number Two: Dress from who-knows-where, with cute scarf-halter-tie-thingy:

Option Number Three: Dress I haven't worn yet which I'm HOPING doesn't really make me look like a linebacker, as it obviously does here:

As for the shoes, I am pictured above wearing one of each of my options, but here's a close-up (the shoes on the left would probably work better for all of the above outfits, however, I threw the other pair in there because they're wedges. Ladies, I'll probably be doing some lawn-walking, so do I even need to 'splain to you why they're an option?):

Guess who loves her some strappy t-strap sandals! This girl!

So there you have it! Let me know your thoughts! And for fun (?), here are a few fashion show outtakes, courtesy of my Patrick Demarchelier-rivaling photographer:

Help me be stylish! Green Smokey Eye edition

In the ten-plus years I've been using makeup, I've never been able to master the smokey eye. Actually, I'll be honest, I've never really tried the smokey eye; it just seemed so difficult! Well, armed with a few tips from online makeup tutorials, I went out on a limb and tried a dark grey-black smokey eye for Chris's company holiday party. I thought I did an okay job and so today, in an attempt to not only practice the smokey eye, but also to make use of some of the bazillions of eye-shadows I own, I thought I'd try out a green smokey eye.

I can't decide if I like it, if I don't like it, whether or not it's too over the top. Survey says?
Open your eyes...Smile!Now, in all seriousness good fun:

Thoughts, concerns, frustrations, agitations, recommendations, acclamations?

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For those interested, the products I used are as follows: M.A.C. Shroom eyeshadow (base), M.A.C. Surreal eyeshadow (light green), M.A.C. Green Smoke eyeshadow (medium green), M.A.C. Humid eyeshadow (dark green), M.A.C. Buried Treasure Powerpoint eyepencil (upper and lower lash-lines), M.A.C. Smolder Kohl eyeliner (upper and lower INNER lash-lines...yes, you have to touch the eyeliner to your eyeball for this one), and Maybelline Volum' Express Turbo Boost mascara (in Very Black, what else?)

Help me be stylish! Flat Shoes & Legging Tops edition

First of all, thank you for de-lurking or re-lurking or just lurking around in general on my last post. You made me so thirsty with all the drinks, I had to try one of each of them. Then I passed out drunk and now that I've resurfaced, I have another fashion emergency (or two) for you to handle. (Aren't you glad you come visit my site? I'm always putting you to work! One day I'll repay the favor, promise.)

Here's the back-story: Up until about four months ago, I had a full time office job in San Diego. This means I wore high-heels for at least forty hours out of my week and if I wasn't wearing wedges or high-heeled sandals when I went out, I was rocking the flip-flops.

Now I'm living in Northern California, where it's significantly colder in the autumn/wintertime (what are these seasons you speak of? I haven't seen leaves change color in five years, what a concept!) and it rains. A lot more. So, needless to say, flip-flops are out of the question and since I don't have an office job at the present time, most of my work is done in fuzzy socks (which means all my lovely high-heels are currently gathering dust in my closet, SAD FACE.)

So! What does this all mean, you ask? Well, it means that other than running shoes or UGGS, I have no casual flat shoe options. And, as much as I love my UGGS, I just don't think they're necessarily appropriate for going out. Case in point, here's what I managed to throw together to grab dinner last night. It's not BAD, but it's not good either, am I right?
Related: After you all weighed in on this Help me be Stylish post, I went out and bought both skinny jeans (which unfortunately aren't "skinny" enough, ARGH) and leggings. Ahh, leggings, how I love thee. So slimming! So boot-friendly! So much like yoga pants! But the question is, what kind of top do I wear with leggings? I threw that chunky grey sweater over the ensemble and I think it looks...Okay...But it's definitely not the look I'm really going for. I'd like something a little more, umm, streamlined.

Alright, you have your assignments: Flat shoes and legging tops. Now, HEEEEELP!

Help me be stylish! What To Wear To A Company Holiday Party edition

Chris's company holiday party is this-coming Saturday and as per usual (and because I am apparently four years old), I need your assistance in dressing myself. In an attempt to not go out and purchase anything new, I went shopping in my own closet. Which, quite honestly, was sort of fun. Sort of. Below are the options; please let me know what you think I should don on Saturday night and also if you think the pants and/or shoes should be switched around or whatever. Thanks!

Option Number One: Green Juicy Dress (a gift from my uber-stylish aunt), paired with my new Old Navy skinny jeans, and Target Mossimo pumps:

Here is a close-up of the shoes:

Option Number Two: Purple dress from Nordstom's BrassPlum (also the dress I wore when we got engaged, aww, sentimental value), paired with black tights, and my new boots:

Option Number Three: Black sweater from Nordstrom's BrassPlum, paired with the same jeans and pumps as Option Number One:

Something to take into account: I will be wearing this faux-leather jacket with whichever outfit I choose:

And, Chris will be wearing a green plaid number, which might create a conflict of interest for Option Number One. I mean, if I wear the green and Chris wears the green, will we be that dorky couple who dresses alike, or that awesome couple who dresses alike? Or, just that really, really, really festive couple? Who dresses alike...

Thanks for all your input!  No pressure, but my stylishness depends on you!

Help me be stylish! Knee-High Boots edition

Last weekend, we had tickets to go see the Dropkick Murphys at the B-E-A-UTIFUL Fox Theatre in Oakland. [Seriously, the Fox Theatre was one of the best venues ever, with lots of room to stand without being smashed to death by moshers or whatever those crazy kids are called and also, the decor was awesome and included Buddhas. Buddhas, I know!]

The day of the show, though, I had somewhat of a shoemergency. Actually, if you follow me on Twitter, then you know I've had a shoemergency for quite some time now, but being as I basically live in running shoes, it wasn't actually a five-alarm shoemergency until last Friday. When I needed something other than running shoes or Uggs. Not that I'm above wearing Uggs to a punk show. I'm not. I just wouldn't want to get them dirty. I am so punk rock, as you can see.

Five-alarm shoemergency in effect, I ventured out to the outlet center in my new town. Being as I'm, what the French call, on a boo-jay, I've set a self-imposed ban on the outlet center. There are just too many appealing stores in there and to make you jealous, I shall list some of them: Burberry, Banana Republic, Gucci, Michael Kors, Le Crueset, you can see why I've imposed the ban...

I decided I'd only go to Nine West. I'd always had good luck at the Nine West outlet across the street from where I used to work (is it just me or is anyone else wondering how I'm always working or living withing two miles of an outlet center?) and this time was no different. Boots, boots, everywhere! In every color and style and size! After much trying on and walking around deliberating with one boot on my left foot and an entirely different boot on my right, I finally decided on these puppies:

Seriously, they have got to be the most impractical shoes I've ever owned, but dammit, if they're not also the cutest.

I got home, however, and realized that I do not own a pair of jeans that are boot-friendly. I own wide-leg jeans and flared jeans and boot-cut jeans, but almost all of them are of the "long" variety, which means even my boot-cuts had too much fabric for proper boot tuckage. I'm no slouch, so I made due with the situation and tucked my jeans into a pair of Chris's old man socks (like I said, I'm so punk rock.) This actually worked...Kind of...The jeans would come loose from the socks and sort of stick out the top of my boots, which made me feel like a cowgirl or a horseback rider or something.

The point is, sock fix lasted through the evening and even through brunch the next morning, but if I want to make these boots more useful to me, I've got to find an alternative way to wear them. And that's where you come in! Do I need to break down and buy skinny jeans? Do they even make skinny jeans for girls like me (I'm not into the low-rise nonsense, my bottom is too big for that.) Or, do I dare try leggings? Where does one buy leggings, anyway? In other words, HELP! I'd love to hear y'alls' advice.

Also, here's a picture of my whole ensemble...I thought we hadn't taken any pictures that night, but lo and behold, I found one! [There may or may not have been Kahlua in that coffee.]
By the way, for those of you wondering, yes, my hair still looks a fright (see post below this one), but I am hoping to rectify that situation soon.