“Funny how?”
I was working on the cryptoquote the other day and, with the exception of two letters, almost had it completed:
"Learn from yesterday, live for today, _o_e for tomorrow." - Albert Einstein
Hmm, love for tomorrow?, I thought.
No, no, I've already used L and V...
Zone for tomorrow?
No, that makes no sense.
Ah-ha! Joke for tomorrow! Of course!
"Learn from yesterday, live for today, joke for tomorrow." - Albert Einstein
Perfect! Done and done! Now, let me just Google that to make sure it's correct...
Oh.
Oops.
Turns out the actual quote is, "Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow."
Which, okay, makes more sense, but what can I say? I always go for the funny.
The things that thrill me now…
My garden is growing like you I wouldn't believe. Unfortunately, my tomatoes routinely get attacked by a group of five ASSHOLE birds, which means that Chris is constantly on Bird Watch 2010. Sadly, during a totally sober (hah) night a couple weeks ago, we had target practice in the backyard, thus depleting the CO2 supply in Chris's pellet gun (that's kind of like a BB gun for those of you who don't know...Because I didn't.) Now we've taken to just running outside, arms flailing, when the birds descend on my tomato plants. (And for those playing along, yes, in addition to growing a garden by day, we're also continuing to terrorize our neighbors by night. People love us.)
More crappy iPhone pictures of my garden can be found here.
We finally have a big kid room, complete with a Cal King bed and matching bedroom furniture. There's also a (new! awesome!) paint-job, the idea for which got implanted into my brain by the evil geniuses at the DIY Network. Luckily, Chris was quite handy with the laser-level and I was surprisingly dexterous with the blue painting tape, so the paint-job - which looks like it could have resulted in much hair-pulling and expletive-shouting - went quite smoothly. I highly recommend stripes!
We also got all our entire upstairs and a portion of our downstairs flooring re-done. The fact that I now have laminate flooring, not carpet, on my stairs (!) thrills me to no end. If you had asked me 10 years ago what I was excited about, it might have been a day off school or a keg party that night for which I had an alcohol hook-up, meaning I would get to drink a bottle of Boone's instead of crappy keg beer. It would not have been laminate flooring. Alas, things change. (For the better, obviously. If I were still drinking Boone's Farm, I'd fully expect you all to come over and stage an intervention. A Bad "Wine" Intervention".)
And sadly, these are things that are thrilling me these days. Gardening! Home renovations! I am so exciting!
What about you? What's absolutely thrilling you this summer?
Pirate Ninja Robot
I'm not sure where this originally originated, but my friend Kim introduced me to the Pirate Ninja Robot concept a few years ago and ever since then, I can't help but classify the people I meet into one of the three categories. It's weird, and it makes no sense, but without fail, everyone is either a pirate, a ninja, or a robot.
I am a robot.
Chris is a pirate.
What are you?
A Working Blog Post Title Production*
Contrary to my initial fears, my garden appears to be growing. The basil isn't looking too hot - I fear the wicked winds out here might have carried most of the teeny-tiny basil seeds off into seed heaven - and the jury's still out on the Swiss chard and the carrots, but the corn, green beans, beets, and zucchini all appear to be flourishing. I was a little depressed about my tomato plants, which are looking a little yellow and dry, but this past weekend, my mother-in-law and Chris's grandma pointed out three tiny tomatoes that were a-growing! And then today after work, when I went outside to pay some love to my baby (my baby is my garden, yes, my life has taken a turn for the lame), I spotted another little tomato! Exciting times here, obvs.
Still on the garden track, since it's all I've got going on these days, we planted some roses. The pink ones are budding (is that what roses do? Do they bud? Or do they just, like, grow?) like crazy! So much so that I was able to cut off a bud and put it in my...wait for it...bud vase! The bud vase that I usually use to drink champagne out of! (Sadly that was not my idea; I stole that from my mom, who is way cooler than I am.)
To round out the riveting awesomeness of this post, here are a couple pictures of my garden. The first picture is from when we initially planted everything; the second one is after we put in a gravel path two weekends ago:
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We found out another set of neighbors is moving. Gee, I hope it doesn't have to do with me shouting obscenities in my backyard a couple weekends ago. I believe I was shouting something like [edited for content], "I PAY THE MOTHER YOU-KNOW-WHAT-ING MORTGAGE ON THIS HOUSE; I'LL PARTY IN MY BACKYARD IF I WANT TO!" (I party hardcore with semicolons, obviously.) I'm only kidding, though. Well, not about the shouting - that was most certainly something I did - but about that being the reason our other neighbors are moving. They actually live a couple doors down and likely wouldn't have heard all the ruckus. Anyway, another neighbor biting the dust is fine with us; as Chris said, "Hopefully they'll all move and we can rule the neighborhood."
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In case you missed it over at Style Lush Blog:
The post my mom thinks is my best: Champagne cocktails!
Two booze post in as many weeks: The Best Wine for Under Ten Bucks
All that drinking made my skin dehydrated: You're never too young for eye cream!
Hey look! It's all about my garden again!: Garden inspired recipes
Will I ever enjoy sweet potatoes? (Spoiler alert: Yes I will! Simply add bacon, drown in cheese, sour cream, hot sauce, guacamole, and fry between tortillas and they're delicious!): Reader Help: Sweet Potato Recipes
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*Chris just asked me what my blog post title was. I told him I didn't know yet, so he asked me what the working title was. Here you go.
Internet says?
First of all, thank you for all your input on my What To Wear To A Holiday Party query. By a landslide, you all chose option number two, and when then Internet decides something, I listen. [I switched out the leather jacket for a long black coat, because it was fuh-reezing that night, but I did rock the hobo gloves. Just keeping it real, you know.] Here's a shot of Chris and I that night; you can consider this our official Holiday card.
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, & Happy Festivus!
May your holiday season be filled with lots of fun, lots of love, and as few grievances as possible!
Speaking of The Holidays, we got our Christmas tree yesterday and I am toying with the idea of doing a video blog, or vlog, as the cool kids are calling it, to display our decorations. Not that our holiday decorations are anything to write home about, but, you know, everyone loves to see the inside of someone's house, right? Anyway, let me know if a vlog of my Christmas decor would be something you'd be interested in seeing. If the Internet doesn't want to see it, then I'm not going to waste hours of my time attempting to format a vlog, you know? Vlog, vlog, VLOG VLOG VLOG!
Chris's number three brother, Drew, is visiting today and Chris is taking a much needed and deserved day off work, so we're thinking about going to see a matinee. At the recommendation of my cousin Ron and my friend Kim, it looks like I'll be lobbying to see Fantastic Mr. Fox. Like I said, if the Internet speaks, I listen. Plus, I'm still trying to avoid seeing 2012.
I belive this makes me the biggest dork in all the Dork Land
Since I can remember, I've had this globe. This one right here:
There's been debate as to where it came from; my mom says she brought it to the relationship and my dad says he did. Either way, when I moved out of their house, I took it with me. [I also took a mismatched set of wine glasses, and over the years, have taken various pieces of art, a lamp, and most recently, a pepper grinder. What? Don't you go shopping at Mom and Dad's?]
Although this globe has always been displayed in my home, and although I have always been curious as to whence it came, it wasn't until last week that I started The Great Globe Dating Research.
A once-over of the globe narrowed down the date of its inception right away: Russia was U.S.S.R. and Israel was Palestine. Additionally, the globe-maker, the George F. Oram Company of Indianapolis, Indiana, had printed on the globe the names and dates of the three most recent people to reach the North and South Poles (North Pole: Amundsen in 1926 and South Pole: Byrd in 1929). Armed with these pieces of vital information, I determined that the globe was made sometime between 1929 and 1948. Too big a gap, if you ask me.
And so, the research commenced. Today I sat down, armed with a legal pad and a laptop, and scanned the globe, willing its history to speak to me. I originally thought Africa would be the answer to it all, what with its French West Africas and its Tanganyika Territories, but I quickly found that many of Africa's Belgium, French, and English colonies were not dismantled until the 1950s or '60s.
Oh a whim, I glanced at Asia and Googled Siam. Ah-ha! For those of you who don't know - because, umm, I didn't - Thailand used to be called Siam. In fact, up until 1939, Thailand was Siam. I was quickly closing the gap.
Because it was my first real clue from the begining, I moved on to the Middle East. It was here that I determined Iran was called Persia up until 1935. Eureka! I had narrowed it down even more. The globe was made sometime between 1929 and 1935.
At this point, Chris popped his head in to see how my Very Important Globe Dating Research was going. I told him that I had narrowed it down to a six-year window. He was impressed, but I told him it wasn't enough and I continued on.
I checked out a couple more African areas, thinking that perhaps Bechuanaland would be my answer. No dice. I went back to the Middle East and gave Trans-Jordan and Baluchistan a check. Their dates did not help at all.
I was about to give up, but decided to check out Asia one last time. Although it was the same color of China, I noticed an area that was separated by a thick red boundary: Manchuria of Manchoukuo. A quick Google and I found that this area of China was its own state from 1932 until 1945. This was the last puzzle piece I needed and determined that this globe, The Globe To End All Globes, was made between 1932 and 1935.
Yes, that's right, I. Am. Awesome. And also, I. Have. No. Life. But if you ever need someone to date your globe, you know who to call.
All about my iPhone
I recently acquired a free iPhone via a work event, and it really couldn't have come at a better time, as my old phone was on its very last leg. Unfortunately with the iPhone, you have to have your contract with AT&T Cingular The New AT&T. I had really been looking forward to finally parting ways with those mother effers, but I figured it was a small price to pay for the almighty iPhone.
Other than its sleek look, I can't say that I absolutely love the iPhone just yet. It may come as a surprise to you, but I'm not exactly the most technologically savvy person and, other than text messaging, haven't really bothered to figure out what else it does.
Speaking of text messaging, that damn touch-screen is something to get used to, LET ME TELL YOU THAT. If you've received a text message from me in the last month, you can attest to this fact, as my texts come across looking like they were sent from a drunk toddler.
For example, this morning, I sent Chris a text telling him that my grandma was now on Faceboob. Except now that I look at a keyboard, B and K are not even really close to each other, are they? I think a psychotherapist would have a lot to say about that. I say it probably just means I'm a pervert.
I feel like there should be a joke somewhere in this blog post
Last night Chris and I watched "Doubt," the Oscar-nominated nun/priest movie starring Meryl Streep, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and that one chick who everyone mistakes for Borat's wife.
While we're on the subject, may I just say that other peoples' constant confusion between Isla Fischer and Amy Adams is one that annoys me to no end. I mean, sure, they're both petite, red-haired actresses, but hello! "Drop Dead Gorgeous"?! "Catch Me If You Can"?! "Talladega Nights," for god's sake?! (Granted, Isla Fisher was in "Wedding Crashers," another favorite of mine, but still, Amy's my main gal. Ahem, obviously.)
Awkward, obsessive rant about celebrities I've never met nor will ever meet: Over.
So anytime I see a lot of nuns in one place, I'm reminded of this one time I was driving home from work. I was stuck behind a slow car, not too slow, but slow enough to be annoying - you know the type - and when I passed the car, I glanced over to see who had momentarily caused my speedometer to drop below 65 miles per hour and saw FIVE nuns in the car. FIVE NUNS! It wasn't like one or two nuns, that would have been fairly routine. But no, every available seat in the car was occupied by a nun. Even the hump seat! There was a nun on the hump! Has that ever happened in the history of the nunnery? I think not.
[See what I mean about the joke? Isn't there some sort of, "How many nuns can you fit in a VW Bug?" kind of thing going on there? No? Ooookay, moving on.]
So there were FIVE NUNS! driving the speed limit down the freeway and after I glanced over (and thanked God that I hadn't flipped them off), I started laughing out loud. Because really, how are nuns supposed to drive other than sensibly? I mean, the day I see a gaggle of nuns barrel-assing down the freeway will be the day I know that Armageddon is imminent.
Are you a freak?
I don't know, are you?
Let's see, are you sock-sock-shoe-shoe or sock-shoe-sock-shoe?
Sock-shoe-sock-shoe, you say?
Well then, there you go, you're a freak.
Twilight Watch 2009
I have one (ONE!) chapter of New Moon left.
Chris has finished Eclipse and is more than halfway through Breaking Dawn.
Apparently, I am a very slow reader.
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